That's right. This past weekend my family made our annual pilgrimage to the Iowa State Fair, which...if you live anywhere in the Midwest or its outskirts means that you know it's KIND OF A BIG DEAL.
There are lots of reasons for this, but one of the reasons our beloved fair is famous...or infamous...is the proliferation of food. Specifically fried food. More specifically....fried food on a stick. In no other universe would anyone in their right mind stick a pineapple chunk on a wooden skewer, dip it in batter, and then deep fry it to serve to hungry masses. But for some reason, at the Iowa State Fair, this behavior is not only acceptable....it's encouraged.
Now, while it's fair time in Iowa, it's also true that something of a little more global significance is happening a little further south. What red-blooded American hasn't enjoyed watching Team USA thoroughly trounce their competitors in nearly every sport they play? So in the spirit of the Rio 2016 games, I thought I would present you with a medal ceremony of my own.
Now, of course, it goes without saying that I have not sampled everything the fair has to offer. First of all, I don't know what a "pickle dawg" is, nor do I have any desire to find out. Also, my skinny jeans just would not allow the intake of that many calories. So this might not be a true assessment of the BEST THREE ITEMS that can be had at the fair, but they are the three I'm picking today. My criteria is questionable, but hey - my blog, my rules.
The thing is this. There are many tasty treats to be had at the fair. Among the many I have tried are corn dogs, fresh squeezed lemonade, salt water taffy (this is especially attractive as you can take it home), funnel cakes, turkey legs, some decent BBQ, and the famous Cookies in a Bucket that literally come in a bucket (insider tip: they are best served fresh and warm). Truthfully, I've never eaten something there I've regretted, with the possible exception of the red velvet funnel cake which was just an insult both to funnel cakes and cakes of the red velvet variety.
However, this year, I felt the winds of change blowing. I kept hearing about the widely heralded "new foods for 2016". And I couldn't resist the temptation of something I hadn't tried before. Of course, there are also a few items that no visit to the fair would be complete without, and I've included one of those as well.
Of course, to do fair food right, you have to have a strategy. First of all, you need to download the app. This seems superfluous, but when you're wandering the grand concourse in 90 degree heat and 1000% humidity, and you can't find the stand with the deep fried Oreos, even though you know it was RIGHT THERE LAST YEAR...you'll be happy for a little direction that will keep you from hours of aimless wandering. This becomes even more critical when you have children, because their attention span when searching for a snack is usually in direct proportion to your proximity to the midway and the carnival rides of doom.
And speaking of children....they are your secret weapon. Naturally, everything you purchase must be shared, which basically means you can try OH so many more items because really you've only taken, like 2 bites of everything. Also you're walking uphill in the aforementioned heat and humidity, so it's basically like negative calories. That's what I tell myself anyway.
Now that you have your plan of attack and your partners in crime, you're ready to dig in....
So, without further ado, and in reverse order, I will commence with the medal ceremony. Behold, the winners of the 2016 Iowa State Fair Olympic Food Games (I totally made that up. That's not a thing.).
BRONZE:
CHEESE CURDS
They aren't new. They've been around FOREVER. But they still deserve a medal because they are literally my favorite thing in the world. I think about them in the winter. I search Pinterest for recipes that promise to approximate the same level of deliciousness. I am even considering another visit to the fair this summer, JUST SO I CAN HAVE MORE.
I don't know what kind of cheese is in these and I don't care. They are warm, they are gooey, and they come with an optional side of marinara dip. For an additional $1, you can get garlic flavored ones, but why mess with perfection?
My only complaint is that I can't have more. Which....of course technically I could....but it would be a little embarrassing to purchase TWO orders of cheese curds just for myself wouldn't it? OR WOULD IT?
Ahem. Moving on...
SILVER:
ULTIMATE BACON BRISKET GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH
Here we have one of the new items. Since one of my OTHER favorite items in the world is a grilled cheese sandwich, I was intrigued. My cousin and fellow foodie Hannah confirmed to me before my trip that this was a must-try this year, so off to The Rib Shack I marched nearly as soon as we arrived.
And it was everything I had hoped it would be. First of all, it's a normal sized sandwich, so you don't feel like an ogre munching on it as you walk (I'm looking at you, turkey legs that are clearly genetically modified). The bacon and brisket work perfectly together without being too chewy or crispy, and the cheese really shines. What kind of cheese, you ask? Yeah, I don't know that. (Notice a theme?) But what really makes it stand out is that, while the bread appears to be normal white toast, it is actually THREE CHEESE bread. You literally cannot go wrong.
This sandwich will set you back about $7, but the nice thing is they appear to be pre-made, so if you've ever stood in a line that's longer than a city block for one of those beef sundae things, you'll understand the appeal of an item that can be purchased in under 5 minutes, provided you go at a non-peak meal time.
GOLD:
FUNNEL BACON ON A STICK
When I first heard this item announced, I will admit I was skeptical. I might have even rolled my eyes, before I relegated it to the same category as deep fried butter (i.e. pointless and kind of gross).
Just to be clear...this is bacon that is deep fried. Then it is dipped in funnel cake batter. And then fried again. And then doused with powdered sugar. And glaze. Oh mercy.
But then I started thinking. I like bacon. I like funnel cakes. I like food that is portable. Maybe I had judged too harshly. I resolved to look beyond my prejudices and be open minded to a new culinary experience.
AND I WAS RICHLY REWARDED.
Now, you're probably looking at this picture and thinking, "Really? That? That's...like....her top pick? That doesn't look appetizing, it sort of looks like they skimped on the funnel cake, and to be honest, it also looks a little inappropriate." All of those things are true. BUT WAIT.
Here's what's great about it. It perfectly hits the sweet-salty spot. If you're craving funnel cake, but don't want to invest the 1,119 calories a typical one will set you back, then this is the thing (it clocks in at a respectable 380 calories which means you don't even have to share it!). You can pick maple drizzle, chocolate drizzle, or caramel drizzle (I picked maple). ALSO, it has bacon in it and bacon = protein. BOOM. It's practically a legitimate meal.
There are really no words to describe how great my gold medal pick is. I hope that it becomes a fair staple, so that it can find its way into the annual rotation, along with cheese curds and a corn dog (or two).
Until next time....
