Just for a moment, close your eyes and conjure with me an image in your mind of The Perfect Church Lady. Now, as any good church lady (including me) worth her salt knows, mind reading is OF THE DEVIL, but allow me to make some educated guesses as to what you are imagining right now. She is calm and lovely. She doesn't believe in social media, but if she DOES have a Facebook or Instagram account, she only posts photos of her smiling children in sun-dappled meadows bearing the hashtag #blessed. She never raises her Southern accent laden voice, and she never uses coarse language, nor would she ever be TEMPTED to do so. The thought would never even enter her renewed mind. She embodies Proverbs 31, is sweet and soft-spoken, and is universally adored by all who meet her. She loves Chick-Fil-A and hates Starbucks and Target.

I don't know about you, but that lady is a perfect stranger to me. Not in the sense that I don't know anyone like that. I know LOTS of women like that actually. The problem...as I see it...is that none of those traits describe ME. Well, except for that bit about loving Chick-Fil-A.

Now don't get me wrong....these are all great qualities. I admire the women in my life who embody them and I strive every day to become more Christ-like in my behavior, thoughts, and words. Philippians 1:27 urges us to "...live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ" (MSG). Anything less than that is falling short of what we are called to be as Christ-followers. 

But having said that.....why, as a 21st century Christian woman, do I sometimes still feel out of place?

Somewhere along the way, we collectively have created an archetype of what a Christian woman should look like. And it goes beyond living a holy life. Don't believe me? Go to your local Christian bookstore and check out their reading materials. Men's devotionals bear images of weapons, swords, dignified eagles and majestic lions. What do women get? Floral patterns and maybe a coffee mug. The message couldn't be more clear:

MEN ARE FIERCE. WOMEN ARE FLOWERS.

Certainly there are women in the Bible who were meek, mild, and well-mannered, but still used mightily by the Lord. Mary, the mother of Jesus comes to mind. But also there are others. Deborah. Esther. Abigail. And then you have Jael...

In case you've forgotten Jael or have never had the pleasure of reading her story, allow me to jog your memory.

She's just that lady, that delicate flower, in Judges 4 who subdued the wicked general Sisera by lulling him to sleep with warm milk and then driving a stake through his skull.

Now, the Bible is disappointingly vague when it comes to the details of Jael and her story, but if I'm reading the scriptures right (and I believe that I am), she lured this hardened general into her tent, gave him something to drink, tucked him in to sleep, and then...with only one shot....she took a tent peg and hammed it through skin, bone, and brains. ONE. SHOT. That, my friends, takes courage, conviction, and brute force.

Yet, I wonder how these women would fare today in some religious circles. I can just hear it:

"I mean, OF COURSE we're THRILLED we're not slaves to King Jabin anymore. But...I do wonder...I mean, should Deborah maybe have let HER HUSBAND take care of the situation? He IS supposed to be the spiritual leader after all...."

"Was it really Esther's place to just go marching in like that to King Xerxes? It just seems so FORWARD and PUSHY."

"That Jael...she is just TOO MUCH. And who was watching her children while she's out putting holes in soldiers' heads hmmm....?"

The truth is that this kind of boldness is becoming rare among women of God these days. Not rare in the sense that it doesn't exist...because I also happen to know plenty of ladies in my own circle who would give Jael a run for her money. However, I do believe that it's rare that we witness or observe it in action. Because, as we all know, there's nothing worse than a church lady with a "strong personality". 

This, to me, is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. (For those of my more secular-leaning friends, yes, I did just quote Gwen Stefani. I won't tell anyone that you recognized the lyric. We can all repent later.)

Now back to the subject at hand...

Some of the most instructive and useful moments in my Christian life have come out of women speaking the truth to me WITH BOLDNESS. These are my favorite people. Women who aren't afraid to push the boundaries, go outside the box, be a little TOO MUCH sometimes. Proverbs 27:17 says, "You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another." (MSG) The whole image there is edge. Spark. Strength. That's the kind of friend that I want. That's the kind of friend I want to BE.

It's taken me a long time to be comfortable with the idea of not conforming to some people's mold. Some days it's easier to sit back than to lean in. But I'm learning. And hopefully, after this, some of you will be inspired to as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is....in a world full of lambs, be the lion(ness). Roar.

(I'm going to stop now, before I start quoting Katy Perry). That might be going too far.